if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was CRYING into my vagina
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you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
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My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.