Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
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we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
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Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?