K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
