best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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