I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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