im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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