best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
