I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
