UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
