he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
