How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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