Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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