Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
