I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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