So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
