Only a mothe r could love this liver
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize