did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
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Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sext me about skeletons
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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