Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize