its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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