im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
