she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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