i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
