Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize