Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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