If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize