Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize