Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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