i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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