Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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