My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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