hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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