Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize