Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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