Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
