we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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