mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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