The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
