Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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