walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
