just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is her dick bigger than yours?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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