Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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