I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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