What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
