Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.