Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.