guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom