Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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