Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
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Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
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Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops