i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him