I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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