Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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