He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
