sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I supernannyed him into submission