It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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